"DIBS" ORIGINAL

309 BLUES

I'm talkin "bout my baby
She isn't very Tall
She weighs in at 300 pounds
I wouldn't call her small
She's not too lean or in between
Her appetite's so big
It isn't that she's got a problem gland
She eats just like a pig

Chorus

But she's my baby
Yeah she's mine all mine
Today she weighs 300 pounds
Tommorow she'll weigh 309

She snacks on Snickers and donuts
And anything that's good
She eats 4 meals by herself
Then knaws the table wood
Her lovin though by itself
Will never leave you yawning
That's why I have to buy her Birthday dress
At Pepe's Tent and Awning

Chorus

She likes to go to Famous Daves
She loves that Barbecue
The menu isn't quite enough
She orders everything for two
I took her to an Asian buffet
With egg rolls and delicacies
And 8 hours later when she'd done
They filed for Bankruptcy

Chorus

 

DON'T LIVE IN VIRGINIA REGGAE

Don’t Go to Virginia
Don’t live in Virginia
Don’t go to Virginia
Don’t you live in Virginia

I’m a working man who must drive every day on Virginia roads to earn my pay
I made a too wide a turn and I touched a curb The “Piggy” pulled me over and
Said hey there man you get a ticket for that or 6 days in a can

$3000 fine, what’s the Governer’s share You got three little babies; “Ha! We don’t care”

Don’t go to Virginia
Don’t live in Virginia
There must be a genius runnin’ Virginia
Cause they get to pull you over and then they stick it inya
Don’t go to Virginia
Don’t live in Virginia

I said Mr. Judge Man that’s a whole months pay I got 3 little babies and one on the way
I work for a livin and I need to get by and the Mr. Judge Man said with a gleem in his eye
You broke our laws ,Hey Man, by touchin’ our curb you’re a wanted man don’t you feel disturbed?
He said; ”Cain don’t care if your babies starve, he needs more expensive lunches and a brand new car

Don’t you go to Virginia
Don’t you live in Virginia
It’s the only Crazy state in all of the Nation
That gets to practice law enforcement Masturbation
Don’t you drive through Virginia
Don’t you live in Virginia

I finally moved away from” The Third Reich State” found a little place in Maryland for me and my mate
My babies 4 they are in a beautiful School, taxes are much lower and it’s not run by a fool
When my babies get older and they make there own glory I’ll set them down and I’ll tell them my story
Of a workin’ man who was forced to pay an unfair fine and was taken away
I’ll tell my little babies don’t you drive too far ‘cause Caine needs expensive lunches and another new car

Don’t you live in Virginia
Don’t you drive in Virginia
There must be Nazi’s runnin ‘ Virginia
Cause they get to pull you over and they stick it inya